最近的事

29日七月2011我终于毕业了，拿到了硕士学位。两年多的努力和奔波终于结束了。感觉轻松多了。

最近发觉白发长了好多，拍的照片也看到了岁月不饶人。毕竟可以说中年人了吧！

最近开始喝咖啡了，平均一天三杯。喝了好爱睡。

最近都到处看房子，终于买了。明年竣工。

最近还比上硕士学位时忙，忙些什么？学生， 家庭，工作，健康。

最近给学生补习，希望可以让他们考好一点。

最近多了一个人要照顾，希望可以照顾的好，好像照顾自己的春晖一样。妈妈不在已久。没什么机会报答她老人家。

最近很疲累，都有睡午觉，也很懒惰早起。起身后又在沙发上睡觉了。

明天开课了，会更忙。

孩子生病了

星期一孩子突然发烧，不知到他发烧因为，他一直都投诉眼晴痛，后来才知道。昨天没睡，孩子闹，先生没办忙。不知怎么办，好多东西还没做，不知可否毕业？烦，身体特别肩膀痛，我想压力吧！

安宁之家一访

你看到睡佛了吗？

今天到安宁之家一访，走了很多冤枉路，迟到了两小时，终于抵达孝恩寺。大家有福报，大山脚一位师父也到访，继和法师来开示。

To Singapore

10.15 flight to Singapore, accompany mother in law to Singapore for 5 days, didn't bring my thesis with me means no work. A bit worry as I haven't doing anything. Called my course mate last night to wish her good luck, she is attending viva on Wednesday at 9am. Hope to meet her and another course mate who is in Paris now, admiring both of them each of them have unique ways of handling turbulence in life, always calling them when I encounter any hi cups and obstacles in life. Especially, the friend in Paris, she is really calm and pious, always pray to God (Allah) to seek strength and guidance.

Will be back on Saturday. Hope it is going to be a pleasant flight and harmony stay in Singapore.

Students' Creativity on Board

Belum Berakhir........

Hari ini pukul 6.30am sudah memulakan perjalanan ke universiti bagi membentangkan kajian sarjana. Tiba pada 8.00pagi, pembentangan bermula pada 9.20am dan berakhir kira-kira 11.30 pagi. Keputusannya Lulus dengan Minor pembetulan. Saya terus balik ke kampung berjumpa dengan bapa kerana sudah lama tidak pulang berjumpa dengannya. Bawa bapa minum petang dengan kakak dan anak saudara. Balik ke rumah dan makan malam bersama suami dan anak di luar. Lega rasanya, walaupun perjalanan untuk mendapatkan segulung ijazah sarjana itu belum berakhir............

病

已经咳嗽了整个星期，终于好了很多，咳到有血丝。整个肺部，背都痛。昨晚，肚子，背部痛。不能睡，幸好今早好了。每次都这样，公共假期时，会生病，没得好好休息，第二天就会好了。很想去看医生，今年的身体状况和健康都很差，有点担心。太多事烦了，人也好烦。我想直接引响了我的健康。

无心之过

今天，从同事那知道有位同事生气我因为一场误会。唉，为什么会这样。孩子生病，家婆突然心脏病爆发，簿子一大堆没时间改，合作社账目没弄清楚，还搞不懂。论文大概二月viva，什么都还没读。新传媒学会的委员又不合作，叫他们弄布告栏，到现在什么都没有，校长一直在吹。要过年了，什么都还没准备，假期几时来？我很累！

是否失眠了？

第二天，自动的在临晨三点多起身后就不能再睡，是否失眠了？还是空调太冷了？第一天，不能睡，既然起身洗厕所，后到另外一间房看电视，今天也一样，五点半起身，打扫。今天开始就弄一些练习，准备开学用的。明年前两个月会很忙，忙合作社，忙论文，忙教书，改簿子，忙孩子，忙过年，帮年货。不敢想，不知可否应付？顺其自然，应该是这样吧！

House Cleaning

One year once, I will do the thorough cleaning, the whole house. A hall, 3 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, 1 dry kitchen, 1 wet kitchen. Last year, it took me two days to complete the cleaning, but this years all together it took me 4 days to get the work done. Last year, I did it all by myself, this year with a little bit of help from hubby. Seeing me climbed up and down, for him it is nothing, I can managed to do everything by myself. Definitely, I will do it all by myself because if not sincere in helping me than it is better I do it all by myself.
Still a lot of work to be done, my thesis, my class next year, and the preparation for CNY. If only I can get someone who willing to share my burden and worries. if only........
Though, I am satisfied because I managed to get it done.........

无奈

这个星期心情非常糟糕，压力，烦恼，心痛。好疲累，疲惫。何时可以平静，何时可以无忧。以为可以逃出这个地方，到新的环境去。满怀的希望，泡汤了。苦涩，懊恼。

我真的要走了

今天终于成功把转校的文件填好。我真的要走了，想到新的环境，希望有所改变。最重要是为了孩子的学业。在这里已经有好几年了，还是不能适应。好压力。虽然知道校长是不会批，会一直申请到被批为止。

Bamboo Charcoal

on Friday, received a gift from my student Kar Yee, she gave a bamboo charcoal, I heard about this bamboo charcoal, they have this bamboo charcoal pillows, which can help us to sleep better. It does help me to sleep better though I still dream (haha...) but my shoulder is not painful anymore. How thoughtful of her to give me something that I really need.

It has been a busy and tension month for me, I have too much things to handle which I think I can't cope with it, my body is showing sign of protest. Aching everywhere, especially shoulder and neck. When will all this over and out.

It is a challenging period to teach when the trial exam is over, students attendance is very poor, I even caught a student truant, his father sending me to school, seeing him enter the school before drove off. But the son is not in school when the form teacher mark the attendance. The student went to somewhere far from the school. I went to his house and told his father about this. This is not the first time the student did this (truant), I caught him once doing the same time, he spent the whole school hours in cybercafe, before school dismiss he will change back to his uniform and wait for his father in front of the school gate. I gave him a chance and not telling his father about what he has been doing in school, but this time, I think I need to tell the parents so that they know that their son is starting to tell lies. I hope what I did is right that I am helping the student not the other way around.

终于可以休息一下了

这几个星期好忙，抗起同事的工作。真的很累。幸好有假期可以休息一下(希望可以真正休息)。可是，我想休息是不可能的。只是可以放下脚步，不必赶。工作还是有一大堆。
很亏欠孩子，没有好好陪他，还有先生也一样。这个放假希望可以好好的睡, 好好的陪家人。

心情糟透了

这两天吃了好多的巧克力。体重增加，心情不见得好。很想出去走走。可是不知去那好？以前如果生气也只不过几个小时，最多一天吧。可是已经两天了，气还是不能消。为何？很想马上离开这个地方，不是逃避。只是不知怎么面对。好烦。请你带我出去兜兜风我的他。真的好烦。

So Many Death

today, I have been listening to calls and chatting with my students, all bad news, about my student's parents passed away of cancer, my ex-colleagues passed away of cancer. My work recently has been very stressful, worry about my own health too. I MUST learn to let go. RIP to them.

Gastric Strike Again

I am still in the process of editing my thesis which I hope I can finish it by this weekend. Unfortunately, I was too eager to do that till I forgot to take my breakfast although I know I shouldn't do that. I can still remembered the last time when I had gastric, I was in great pain. Now, the pain still haunting me. Due to it, I have little progress in the editing process. I woke up three in the morning so that I can do my work with any interuption.
Will, I guess it will prolong till next week, less sleep and more work to accomplish.

Come to the END

Just another 72hours, school holidays will come to the END. Needed to wait for another 3 months or so before the next in September(not sure). Still a lot of things haven't have the time to get it done before school reopen, like preparing karangan contoh for 5A class. 5K and 5A are the two class I teach. For 5K, I already sent out my love letter to each and everyone of them hoping that they will change their attitude and pay more attention in class, and the most important thing is to pass the BM subject in SPM examination. For 5A class, I have planned to buy each and everyone of them a workbook to help them. I just wish all the work and effort will not like 'mencurah air ke daun keladi'.
With my thesis still pending, it is hard for me to concentrate on my work in school. I had tried my best to cope with all the work in hand. My father, my son, my family, my work, my thesis, myself. Just hope everything will go smooth and fine till end of the year. I had sound to headmaster that I would like to teach in the afternoon, I do not know whether it is a wise choice or decision to make but will see.

No Peace & No Rest

Well, finally I have submitted my final draft to my supervisor today. But, it doesn't mean that I can sit back and relax. Although I would like to sleep early and wake up late but I don't think so I have the luxury to do that. My routine is on which is sleep at around 9pm with my only son then wake up at around 1 or sometimes 2am to do my work till 5am when I will started to boil water and do some cleaning before get ready to school.
Well, I have to do a presentation on school profile with all information about school for the past 5 years, the achievement in academic, sports, etc. Haven't look in to it but would like to get it done as soon as possible so that I can concentrate on other things like my viva, my son and especially now my father; his condition is getting worst, and we are worry about him. He started to dream about my mum who deceased 14 years ago. He never dream about my mum for 14 years. For Chinese, we believed that it is not a good sign. Will try to go back home more often to visit him.

Life is Getting Tough

Slept only 4 hours, felt so tired. I even took a 5 minutes rest at school till I didn't notice that my student is sitting beside waiting to ask me for dictionary. I gave 5K students BM grammar as homework as Monday is holiday ( 3 sheets of working papers with around 40 questions). It is the best time to drill them on that matter. It was okay today. I did feel glad that they don't grumble as much. One of the student said Thank you to me. I don't think so they have to do exercises whenever there is any public holidays.

Well, the scenario is totally different in the other class. The moment I step in the class, there are students request that I don't teach today with all sort of absurd excuses, blaming the weather is too hot to study. I have to yell as the surrounding and there are students who keep on chit chatting although been warned for few times, those who wanted to study keep asking to continue and dun bother those annoyed students. I just can't stand their attitude anymore, if only I could just teach those who wanted to study and left those. I feel that I failed to be a teach as I can't teach, they prefer to copy, they don't want me to talk. It is like copying is their way of getting homework done. They will waiting for the answer, they won't even bother to try. It is like the teacher asking questions and answering the questions ( sound so stupid).

When I confronted them, they were saying that I should be happy as they attended my class. Should I? They told me that they don't even bother to enter other teacher's class. I only hope that they listen to me not giving me "face" to stay in the class and chit chat away.

Today, there is an tournament going on in the school compound. Lot of students are absent and in some classes, the room is empty, the students truant to go and watch the match even though they have been warned not to do that. No action taken so far and tomorrow is the final matches. Students have been telling me that they won't come to school. How am I going to survive in such an environment?