Mengapa Perlu Menyesal?

Sejak mula melanjutkan pelajar tahun 2007, pelbagai cabaran dan dugaan ditempuhi. Bukan nak kata diri ini menyesal tetapi keletihan dan jangka masa yang begitu lama untuk menggapai segulung ijazah bernama sarjana memang menguji kesabaran dan kecekalan diri. Ini dah tahun 2011, tahun untuk menamatkan pengajian. Adakah akan tamat? masih menjadi persoalan.

yang dikesali, anak yang menjadi mangsa apabila diri ini kesibukan, anak disajikan dengan TV hampir 5 atau 6 jam sehari. Ini memang tak baik untuk budak berumur 4 tahun, tapi kalau tidak kerja tidak akan diselesaikan. Apabila dirinya ini tension, anak dimarahi hingga kadang-kadang dirotan atas perkara yang kecil.

Setiap kali ini berlaku, jiwa ini bergolak, berasa bersalah............

yang pasti, harap semuanya akan berakhir pada bulan Julai nanti.

孩子生病了

星期一孩子突然发烧，不知到他发烧因为，他一直都投诉眼晴痛，后来才知道。昨天没睡，孩子闹，先生没办忙。不知怎么办，好多东西还没做，不知可否毕业？烦，身体特别肩膀痛，我想压力吧！

Tangguh

Balik ke Penang, rasanya cuti ni akan dihabiskan di Penang seketika, kemungkinan besar akan ke Singapura menghantar emak mertua, yang merisaukan saya ialah kerja mengedit tesis saya ni tak mula lagi. Agak banyak juga aspek yang perlu diteliti dan tiada ketetapan yang diberikan oleh penyelia. Saya perlu mencari pakar dan menanya pendapat mereka tentang aspek tertentu, masalahnya mana saya dapat cari mereka ni? Jadi, tugas saya sekarang mengedit bahagian-bahagian tertentu dahulu. Disiplin sangat penting tetapi itu yang menjadi masalah dan kekangan saya sekarang ni.

Belum Berakhir........

Hari ini pukul 6.30am sudah memulakan perjalanan ke universiti bagi membentangkan kajian sarjana. Tiba pada 8.00pagi, pembentangan bermula pada 9.20am dan berakhir kira-kira 11.30 pagi. Keputusannya Lulus dengan Minor pembetulan. Saya terus balik ke kampung berjumpa dengan bapa kerana sudah lama tidak pulang berjumpa dengannya. Bawa bapa minum petang dengan kakak dan anak saudara. Balik ke rumah dan makan malam bersama suami dan anak di luar. Lega rasanya, walaupun perjalanan untuk mendapatkan segulung ijazah sarjana itu belum berakhir............

Gastric Strike Again

I am still in the process of editing my thesis which I hope I can finish it by this weekend. Unfortunately, I was too eager to do that till I forgot to take my breakfast although I know I shouldn't do that. I can still remembered the last time when I had gastric, I was in great pain. Now, the pain still haunting me. Due to it, I have little progress in the editing process. I woke up three in the morning so that I can do my work with any interuption.
Will, I guess it will prolong till next week, less sleep and more work to accomplish.

Chin Beng

I should have go back home for Chin Beng as I didn't go home to visit my mum for years already. My sisters came back Saturday afternoon but they didn't go to the cemetery. Only my father will go. We visit few grave; first my mother and my grandfather and grandmother and my ancestor too. My grandmother passed away when my father is still a child. It is my grandmother's mother who took care of my father and his siblings. Only three of them. My uncle is in Pantai Remis, his wife just passed away 2 months ago. My aunt live in Singapore, she hardly come back to Malaysia after my grandfather passed away more than 10 years ago.
I am still struggling with my thesis, stayed up last night. Now, while waiting for my car to be serviced I am sitting in the customer lounge with my thesis draft and my laptop. Will try to finish editing by today and compile everything by this week, but I have problems with my chapter 6, normally thesis consist of 5 chapter, mine have 6. Headache....

Work, Work, Work

Been working for two weeks, I am still struggling between work in school, my thesis and house chore. Need something to keep me awake, low energy, feel sleepy all the time. Hot temper and my son is the victim of my tiredness. I feel guilty all the time when I scolded him or when he get spanned from me. Will try to get helper to clean the house, so that I can have more time to work on my thesis and school work. I was luckily that my PK understood my situation and my colleague willing to take back her class till I settled and done with my thesis. I am very thankful.

Right now, I feel my body aching especially on my shoulder, worry if bone spurs strike again. Always forgot to take supplements given by the Orthopedic. Tomorrow, working day. It is Sport Day 2010.

A Day at Auto Service Center

Putrajaya: Here I Come

Will, time is up. Going to Putrajaya today. My study leave end in two more days. Didn't teach for two years and 3 months. Don't know which school I will ended up with but keep my fingers cross.

CNY Custom

It is Chinese custom to have the house total clean up before Chinese New Year. I started last week by washing curtains, washing sliding doors on Monday, yesterday I wipe all the cabinets at the living room. Today, I spent four hours just to clean up the kitchen and toilet downstairs. Will take a few days rest, as tomorrow needed to take my father to hospital and on Friday will meet my friends to discuss our thesis. Will continue washing and cleaning on Saturday, not much time left to all that.

Menyahut Seruan Menderma Darah

Pada hari Jumaat yang lepas, Utusan Online ada berita tentang kekurangan darah di hospital swasta juga di hospital kerajaan. Diharapkan sesiapa yang layak untuk menderma akan ke hospital untuk menderma darah. Saya akan ke hospital minggu depan untuk menderna tapi tak pasti boleh derma ke tak boleh sebab baru derma pada bulan November yang lepas, setahu saya perlu tunggu 3 bulan sebelum boleh menderma lagi. Walau apapun, akan ke hospital minggu depan. Sekarang ini, sibuk edit tesis, harap-harap dapat siapkan pada akhir bulan ini. Selepas itu, bolehlah concentrate untuk preparation for CNY.

A Day at Campus

I started my journey to campus at 6am this morning, by the time I reached campus it was 8.20am. Went to Bursary to get signature and sent my abstract and lists of content to faculty. Meeting with supervisor at 11am ended at 12.30pm. Lunch at Secret Recipes with Ummu Ilman and Chahya. After lunch, Ummu Ilman went home. Chahya and I went to library till 6.30pm. Chit chat outside the library till 7.13pm. Reached home at 8.50pm. Not going to do anything tonight. Going to sleep early and continue my thesis editing tomorrow.

Pedih & Perit

Hari ini saya sepatutnya berasa gembira dan lega sebab dah berjaya menyiapkan isi kandungan tesis saya. tugas seterusnya adalah menulis abstrak dan abstract agar dapat dihantar untuk semakan penyelia pada hari Jumaat ini. Namun, semuanya hancur lebur dan hati ini berasa sungguh pedih & perit akibat sebuah perbualan telefon. Kalau ikutkan hati, ingin saya bawa kereta terus balik ke kampung dan bawa balik Ethan. Tapi, aku masih bertahan dengan segalan dakwaan yang dibuat. Walau bagaimanapun, saya sudah bertekad untuk membawa Ethan balik ke sisiku pada akhir bulan ini juga sebab aku memang dah tidak boleh bertahan dengan dakwaan tidak berasas yang dibuat. Oleh itu, aku mesti tekun dan berdisiplin dalam menghabiskan penulisan tesis saya ini dalam masa kurang sebulan ini.

Aku mesti siapkan tesis saya ini by hook or by crook.

Jauh Perjalanan, Luas Pemandangan

Tidak kira jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan, luas pandangan atau luas pengalaman. Perjalanan hari ini memang jauh, memang luas pemandangan, pandangan dan pengalaman yang diperoleh. Sudah lama duduk menghadap tesis yang pi mai pi mai tang tu je. Hari ini, Ummu Ilman banyak membantu saya dalam menyelaraskan objektif kajian saya dengan persoalan kajian dan dapatan kajian. Walaupun perbincangan tak sampai satu jam pun, tapi cukup padat dan jelas. Kami jumpa di IPS kemudian ke perpustakaan, tak lupa makan-makan di gerai.

Tiba di rumah dah pukul 7.30pm, hujan lebat sepanjang perjalanan pulang. Walaupun bertolak awal, tapi disebabkan hujan yang begitu lebat sekali, jadi memandu dengan cukup teliti, jalan memang licin. Apabila sampai, cuci kereta, maklumlah kereta baharu, jaga over sikit. Mandi dan makan malam. Baru berkesempatan menulis pos ini. Esok baru nak mula buat semua cadangan dan penyelarasan yang dicadangkan oleh Ummu Ilman. Nak berehat je, dah tua agaknya, berasa letih dan sakit bahu, tak lupa dah rasa mengantuk dah.....zzz...

Dinner

It is not a productive day for both of us. We didn't do much work today. Managed to sit down and typed a page of content of my thesis, not finish. Went to wash car till around 8.45pm, then washed up. Received call from course mate saying that the appointment with supervisor has postponed to this Friday at 3.30pm. Well, it means that I don't have to rush to get my abstract in BM and in BI ready not till Friday. Hubby prepared dinner. We ate. Anyhow, must be very disciplined indeed started tomorrow as I need to have my thesis ready completely by end of the month.

Suka Sakit

Alahai, sejak ahkir-akhir asyik sakit je.......entah apa dah jadi, sekejap sakit perut, lepas itu sakit bahu, sakit pinggang, selesema, sakit tekak. Buat masa ni, akibat selesema, terasa mengantuk sangat-sangat. Kerja tak buat pun sehari dua ni sebabnya kemaskan rumah, maklumlah azam baharu ni sejak dua tahun melanjutkan pelajaran rumah penuh dengan buku, kertas, borang soal selidik, draf tesis...Hari itu pi jumpa supervisor minta nak hantar draf awal tesis ke IPS, Dr. dah setuju minta hantar abstrak BM dan BI, serta isi kandungan Isnin pukul 4pm, sayangnya saya tak buat apa-apa lagi, nampak gayanya it will be last minutes work. Apa-apa aje, asalkan kerja beres. So, now nak tidur dulu lah ni, esok baru keje boleh!

Die Liao

Die..Die...Die...supposed to start working on my thesis yesterday after sending my son back to my sister. Reached home at around 6pm, washed cars then went out for dinner. Back home at 9pm, lazy to do anything else, so just switched on TV and watched "Bones", "NCIS" then "Criminal Minds" till Rachel Ray(already zzzzzz.........). Woke up this morning at 8am, then went to kindergarten with neighbour as she is sending her daughter to nursery today, followed her to check out the place.

Went to market, but nothing much to buy, just bought newspaper and breakfast. Later on went to neighbour's house chit chat for an hour. Back home, thought of on my laptop and start to do some writing on my thesis, well, haha..chatting with my sister online. Then it was already noon. Switch on TV again to watch news. After that, went to kitchen and fried rice as lunch. Now, taking my lunch and punching the keypads.

How am I supposed to graduate if ..........Well, there will be thousand of excuses not to look at the thesis. Actually, no mood already to do all that. So, at the end..........DIE.

Bab 4

Rasa lega sikit selepas berjaya menghabiskan bab 4 tesis saya semalam, jadi tidur awal semalam. Hari ini target nak habiskan bab 5 sebabnya esok ada perjumpaan dengan penyelia. Dah beberapa hari duduk berjam-jam tanpa bergerak di hadapan laptop, bahu, tengkuk, pinggang makin sakit. Hari ini cukup penting mesti tumpu perhatian agar dapat menghabiskan bab 5 dengan jayanya.

完了

这次可完了，论文写不完了

今天的收获

今天早上七点四十三分出门，到大学刚好九点。现在吃过午餐了。不知几点回家。虽然要花大概两个小时的车程，至少有收获。把一些疑问搞清楚了也放心了。回家可以继续做分析和写报告。因为下雨的关系所以大概下午三点半钟，大家都各自回家。一路都下着雨，天色很黑暗。